Broken
by random-is-awsome
Summary: Katniss is unable to save Peeta life after she accidentally breaks the hypodermic needle which contained the lifesaving medicine. She is crowned victor with Cato though and is forced to act like she is in love with him to protect her loved ones. Can she manage to live with Cato and satisfy the President and come to truly love the person who she had considered a vicious killer?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N This idea has been bouncing around the back of my head for a very long time and I finally found the time to write it. This is my first hunger games fan fiction and the entire story will be in Katniss's POV. **

**Disclaimer-I own nothing.**

I stared down at the broken hypodermic needle that I had pulled out of the small bag which I had only just managed to get from the feast and all the hope I had managed to build up in the past few days when the announcement of the possibility of two victors from the same district, when I found Peeta, half dead but still alive and when the feast was announced and I knew I could get lifesaving medicine for Peeta shattered. The medicine leaked around my fingers and filled the small cave with a sharp, metallic smell. That's when it struck me hard. Peeta was dying and there was nothing I could do about it. I let out a small whimper and with a trembling hand I reached out to feel his forehead. My hand made contact with his forehead to check his fever and not only was he still burning up but his temperature seemed higher than the last time I had checked it. Feeing defeated I collapsed onto the floor and tried to hold back the tears that were building up.

"Was drugging me and going the feast worth it?" a weak voice suddenly said from behind me. I spun around to see Pietas blue eyes glowing in the gloomy cave.

"Peeta, you know I had to." I said while trying to keep my voice steady.

"But was it worth it?" Peeta repeated patiently.

"I could have been!" I exclaimed "I had the bag! I almost got away too. But then the female from 2, Clove, attacked me but then Thresh came and attacked and killed her. He let me go because of my alliance with Rue but in that whole scuffle that happened." I said, my voice breaking towards the end of my rant, and then point at the broken needle that I had carefully placed on top of bag which I had found it in. Peetas eyes leave mine for only a moment as they flit towards where I was pointing to and study he object that could have saved his life. He then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I expected him to get angry at me and yell at me for drugging him which is why I was utterly shocked when he grabbed my hand which was resting next to him and pulled me into a hug.

"Katniss," he whispered to me. "In case the worst happens..."

"Peeta, don't you..." I tried to interrupt but Peeta put a finger against my lips and to stop me. I looked into his eyes and I could tell that nothing I say was going to stop Peeta from saying what he was going to say.

"If the worst happens," Peeta started again and this time I didn't interrupt. "You have to win. You have to go home. Don't waste your life. Am I clear?" He said and then tilted my head up and pressed his lips against mine. At first I thought it was just a stunt to help get sponsors but almost immediately I doubt that theory because we were situated in the darkest corner of the cave and away from the eyes of the cameras. That's when I realized that to Peeta all of this was real and his feelings were genuine. What was strange though was that the kiss stirred something inside of me. A warm, intense feeling coursed through my body and made me close my eyes and instinctively sink deeper into the kiss, it struck me that this was real for me too. It also struck me that if I could, I would stay like this forever. But too quickly I felt Peeta pull away. I was about to lean towards him in pursuit but I felt a palm against my shoulder holding me back. Surprised, I opened my eyes and looked into Peetas. There was disappointment lurking behind those blue irises but the source of his disappointment was a mystery to me. 'He's dying, duh.' a voice said in my head but I quickly dismissed that idea partly because I knew that Peeta had accepted his fate and partly because I still wanted to believe that Peeta was going to be all right.

"What's wrong?" I asked him but in reply he just sadly shook his head and pulled me down so that my head was resting on his chest. I settled there and breathed in Peetas scent. Even though he denied it I knew something was bothering Peeta. I tried my hardest to figure out what it was but the warmth of Peetas body combined with the sound of his heart beat was slowly lulling me to sleep. I, at first, tried to fight the feeling but then decided to succumb to it since the audience would have had more than enough excitement with the feast and the interaction between Peeta and me and the kiss. I also knew that Cato had gone after Thresh so we were as safe as we could be. As soon as I stopped fighting it sleep came quickly and before I knew it my eyelids started drooping. Just as I started drifting away though I realized what Peeta was upset about. He still thought that I was acting for the cameras. I wanted to say something to let him know that this was real for me too but the siren call of sleep was too strong for me to fight and before I could do anything I was already fast asleep.

I awoke early the next morning. Before I did anything else I checked Peetas fever. It was shooting up at an alarming rate. What was worse was that his pulse was so weak that I could barely feel it. I wanted to do something to help him but I had no idea what. Feeling completely lost. I first thought of waking him but then decided against it. I reasoned that sleep would be the best thing for him. So instead I took our almost empty water bottles and went out to the steam deciding to first fill them with water and then wake Peeta and give him some more fever medication.

I had finished filling the first bottle and was about to start with the next when I heard the distinctive sound of a canon rumbling in the distance. I froze and dropped the bottle as water suddenly became unimportant.

"Peeta..." I said under my breath then cried out "Peeta!" and then dashed towards the cave. He was still there, unmoved from his last position. I crept towards him quietly as if not to wake him because I wanted to believe that he was just asleep and the worst had not happened. I knew that it was most likely a blind hope but as I came nearer to Peetas still form I clung onto it as though it was a lifeline. With a shaking hand I picked up his wrist. His skin felt cooler so I thought that it was a good sign but when I poked my finger around his pulse point. There was nothing. My eyes widened and a cold feeling started to spread from the pit of my stomach. Dropping his wrist I frantically pressed my fingers against his neck hoping, praying for a pulse. I couldn't find any. As a last ditch effort I pressed my ear against his chest where I had, only yesterday, heard the steady sound of his heartbeat. I was met with a dead silence. Shivering all over I stumbled away from Peetas lifeless body. I then collapsed and despite the soaring temperature I started shivering more violently. The shrill warning call of the Mockingjays brought me back to my senses. The hovercraft was probably over the cave now and I knew it was waiting for me to either move away from the body or take Peetas body out of the cave. I really didn't want to do it but I knew that the better thing to do was shift Peeta out because if I left him here then they would have to break through the cave and I would lose a good hiding place. But I couldn't bring myself to move his body. He looked too calm and at peace almost as though he was asleep and I didn't want to disturb his form. So instead I leaned across till I was hovering above him, pushed a stray curl of his blond hair of his forehead, lowered myself to give him one last kiss, then stood up on trembling legs and walked out of the cave to the spot where I was earlier filling our water bottles. There I stood, facing away from the cave as the hovercrafts arm broke through the cave and lifted Peetas lifeless body out of the arena. It took a few moments but then the Mockingjays started to sing again and I knew that it was done. Peeta was gone for good. I knew I should move but my legs seemed to be glued in place. Instead I fixed my gaze down on the rocks and watched as the water which I had earlier spilled stained the grey rocks black. It was probably the sight of water being wasted that shook me out of my trance because it reminded me of the promise I had made Peeta. Almost mechanically I started to move again. I bent down and filling water again until I had two full bottles of purified water. After that though I felt my body start to shut down again. 'You have to fight, you have to live.' I reminded myself. 'You have to fulfill your promise to Peeta.' I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to collect myself and when I opened my eyes again I felt a fire fueled by my anger ignite inside me. I glanced down at my reflection which had formed in a small puddle of water and was shocked to see that I couldn't recognize the girl staring up at me. My eyes had an animalistic look in them and my eyes and cheeks had sunken so deep that they seemed to be beyond redemption. But there was also a look of determination etched in my face and from that point on I knew that no matter what the Gamemakers of Tributes tried to throw in my direction I was going to fight my way through and win. Nothing was going to stop me.

Running on anger and determination alone I started to pick my way through the debris of my former hiding place in search of my bow. Disoriented by my grief I had carelessly left my weapons inside the cave and I was desperately praying that they were not damaged. After ten minutes of digging through endless layers of rock and cutting my hands so many times that I lost count I finally found my bow. I carefully extracted it along with my quiver. I quickly examined the weapons and when I assessed that nothing had been too badly damaged I let go of a breath I had no idea I had been holding. I allowed myself to enjoy the small victory for a few moments before getting back to work. I quickly counted my arrows. There were seven in all. _And only three kills_ a voice said in my head causing me to shudder slightly. Despite my promise I was still uncomfortable with the idea of killing another human so instead I shelved that thought temporarily and decided to hunt to clear my mind. It took me less than ten minutes to make my first kill. As my arrow sunk into the unlucky rabbit's eye though Gales words came back to me. How different _could_ it be? Images of tributes brutally killing other tributes flashed in my head and I realized most of them were blindly murdering in an animalistic way. That's when I realized that it wasn't any different at all. In the light of this new discovery I resolved that now there was absolutely nothing that could now stop me from winning. I quickly retrieved my kill, plucked my arrow out and returned it to my quiver. I then started a fire, not caring now if it gave away my position, and then gutted and cooked the rabbit. Not wanting to fall ill from eating raw rabbit I let the rabbit overcook a little and then I ate the whole rabbit knowing that if I was going to win I was going to need all the energy I could get. Feeling a bit more active after my meal I kicked out the fire and set out on my way using my hunting skills to track both animals and tributes. Given my experience I knew that it wouldn't be long before I came across a prey of one kind. I wasn't wrong and within less than an hour of trekking I came across my first target. Unfortunately it was a tribute, the one who I called Foxface. I concealed myself and readied an arrow. Taking a deep breath I carefully took aim and let the arrow fly hitting her right between her eyes. Her cannon went off almost immediately and I knew her death was quick and painless but I still couldn't help but feel the same way I had felt when I had hilled the boy from one, sick and nauseous. I drew my eyes away from the scene and started moving in the opposite direction focusing only on the promise I made. It was the only thing which was holding me together.

I spent the rest of the day hunting, trying to forget that I had killed a person. Around two or three hours after I killed Foxface another cannon went off. I was hoping that it was Thresh because I knew that I wouldn't be able to kill him as easily as I could kill Cato. Whether it was a good thing or not that evening I found out that my assumption was correct and Cato and I were the only two people left in the arena. When Peetas face flashed in the sky though I had to avert my eyes as I couldn't afford to break down. Praying that the Gamemakers and audience had enough for the day I settled down for the night. But unfortunately luck wasn't on my side because a few hours after drifted into a light sleep I heard a low, blood chilling growl approaching me. I was on my feet and running in a few seconds but the animal, which I assumed was a muttation kept on perusing me. After running a small distance I heard another mutt approaching from my right so I veered left and continued sprinting. I soon realized that the Gamemakers were steering me towards the cornucopia when I noticed the light of the moon reflecting off its surface. Figuring that I would be safe if I climbed on top of the horn I would be safe from the mutts. I considered that driving me on top of the horn was part of the Gamemakers plan but I set that idea aside because it was as important as getting away from the things chasing me. As I ran out of the forest I risked a glance back and saw two giant dogs bounding towards me and growling viciously. I increased my speed and within a few moments I was at the cornucopia. I started to climb and almost at the same time I heard a sound from the other side. Ignoring it I continued to climb and just as I hauled myself up, out of the range of the beasts, I noticed someone else on the horn. Instinctively I notched an arrow and almost simultaneously Cato raised his spear. I knew that we were at a stalemate but I also noticed that Cato's throwing arm was bleeding. I realized I had the upper hand and if I timed it right I could get this over with. But just as I was about to let my arrow fly the arena was flooded with light and Claudius Templesmith's voice boomed over the speakers. I heard the words loud and clear but I wasn't able to process them. I played them over and over again in my head trying to understand how it was possible that Claudius Templesmith was saying "I present to you the victors of the 74th annual Hunger Games Katniss Everdeen of District 12 and Cato Evans of District 2"

**A/N. So what do you think? Like I said earlier this is my first Hunger Games fan fiction so I'm not sure whether the characters are OOC or not. I will only continue if I get 5 or more reviews for this chapter. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I would like to thank xXSparkleleafXx, Storyteller Person, bijtjen, katnisscato28, Fianna Hira, YouMe21411, HungerGamesFan67, bookworm1096, RachellovesPeeta, .mockingjay, Venetia5, PurpleSpottyOwl, Dancerluver123, Free the Poet, Chic99 for following this story /adding this story to their favourites.**

**Replies to Reviews**

**Annabelle III- Thank you so much for your review and suggestion. I tried using you suggestion in this chapter. Hopefully I didn't get too caught up in writing and remembered to break down my chapters. You tell me. **

**Guest- Thanks for the great review.**

**tarakayy- Thanks!**

**YouMe21411- Thanks and I'm so sorry for not updating soon.**

**katnisscato28- Thank you.**

**Criticism hurts- Thank you so much. Your review really made me smile. **

Blinded by the light it took me a few moments to regain my sight but I managed to keep my arrow pointing at a spot between Cato's eyes. Despite the announcement I couldn't bring myself to drop my weapon. Cato seemed to think the same way because his spear was still pointing towards me. His focus seemed to start to crumble thought when a hovercraft materialized over our heads and two ladders slid out between us. Before I could react Cato threw his spear down with a grunt and gripped a rung of the ladder. He almost immediately froze as an electric current passed through his body and within seconds he was pulled up into the hovercraft. Almost as soon as Cato's form disappeared from view I felt my arms get heavy. Now that there was no immediate threat I felt the adrenalin rush from earlier fade away and felt my exhaustion and despair take its place. My grip on the bow weakened and o felt it slip from my fingers and fall on the Cornucopia with a clutter. A few moments later my knees too began to give away and I sunk down on the cold Cornucopia roof. I couldn't even say that i had any notion of what was going on but the one thing that i did know was that the fact that the President allowed two victors meant that whatever was in store for me wasn't good. Trying desperately to find any other option i looked around and i caught sight of a knife that must have been dropped by Cato. It was then that i realized that i had only two options but not much of a choice.

With a silent apology to Peeta for breaking the promise I had made to him i slowly made my way towards the beckoning blade. It took a few moments but I soon had my fingers wrapped around the hilt of the knife and its blade poised over my wrist. I knew it wasn't the best way to commit suicide but it was my only hope to achieve peace. I pressed the cold, sharp blade against my outstretched wrist but just as the knife began to penetrate my skin i heard a thump behind me and a white gloved hand grabbed my hand and wrenched the knife out of my grasp. I struggled to free my hand from my assailants grip and when i couldn't i tried to throw a punch in his direction. I was too weak though and i missed him terribly and only ended up getting my other hand stuck in his grasp. I tried twisting and struggling but before i could manage to free myself a metal arm wrapped itself around me and pulled me up into the hovercraft.

I was unceremoniously deposited on the cold hovercraft floor and i felt just about ready to pass out when i caught sight if Cato. Before i knew what i was doing i was in my feet and poised to attack. Before i could lunge in his direction though a needle pieced my skin and a cold liquid coursed into my veins. A sedative, my mind supplied just as i collapsed and passed out a few seconds later.

The next time i awoke i was in a sterile white room which i at once recognized as a hospital. The entire room was silent save for the beeps which were occasionally emitted from the several machines which surrounded me. Another thing I noticed was that I was strapped to the bed with some sort of restraints. The room stank of the sharp scent of medicine along with a very strange scent of blood and roses. That's when I realized that I wasn't alone.

"I see that you are finally awake Miss Everdeen." The President said in his serpentine voice. "I trust you are feeling well now." Still shocked and unable to formulate a reply I simply nodded and continued to stare at the President as a sly and slightly frightening smile curled on his overly puffy lips.

"Good. That is very good." he continued. "In that case I have something I would like you to do for me."

"What would that something be?" I asked after a short pause in a surprisingly strong but slightly trembling voice. I also tried very hard to keep my voice as steady as possible but a part of the anger I felt managed to sneak in. This man had taken so much from me already, what more could he possible want. The President chuckled slightly

"'Girl on Fire'… Seems appropriate." he muttered and then turned to me, his snake-like eyes piercing into my grey ones. "What I want from you is directly related to the_ unfortunate_ death of your district partner and alleged romantic partner. What was his name? Peeta?" he said and then paused as I strained against my restraints and recoiled as though I had been slapped. From the look on his face I could tell that he knew that his words had had their desired effect. "You see, ever since that _sad_ incidence we could never deliver the promised romance and I couldn't risk the possibility of disappointing my audience." he paused again and waited for me to catch up. It took me a few moments but something clicked in my brain.

"You want me to pretend to be in love with Cato." My voice sounded extremely hollow and a cold feeling of dread spread across my body. A chilling smile played on the Presidents overly puffy lips.

"I'm so glad we're on the same page Mrs. Everdeen." The President purred. "I'd hate to waste time explaining myself" the President added and then stood up, straightened out his suit and made his way towards the wall at the far end of the room. Just as he reached it the wall slid open with a silent hiss revealing a long hallway. The President took one step through the door and then froze.

"Just one more thing Miss. Everdeen." President Snow said while turning. "Your little stunt with the knife didn't go unnoticed by me. It will make your job of convincing the citizens of your undying love towards Mr. Evans but if you fail to comply with my request I cannot ensure the safety of your mother, your dear little sister and all of those _cousins._" Leaving that threat hanging the President walked out of the door which slid shut leaving me pondering over what I was going to do.

I spent the next two days between sleeping, thinking and worrying until the third day when I woke up and all the restraints, needles and machines were no longer surrounding me. I slid off the bed and was surprised that my legs were able to hold my weight. I took a few tentative steps and when I turn around I jumped a few feet back and started struggling to breathe when I saw the uniform which I had worn in the arena placed on my bed. That's when I remembered that each victor had to wear that to greet their stylists and mentors. Ripping off the thin hospital gown I slipped into suit in a few seconds and then headed to the wall where Snow had walked out from. The wall slid open just as I reached it and I stepped out into the seemingly endless hallway.

"Haymitch? Cinna?" I called out.

"Katniss!" a voice called out from the end of the hall. Before I knew what I was doing I started to run towards the voice until I reached a large chamber. Effie, Cinna, and Haymitch were waiting for me there. Out of the three of them i could tell that Effie was the only one oblivious to how i was feeling because she seemed to be bouncing on her toes with excitement. Haymitch and Cinna too had smiles on their faces but their eyes betrayed the fact that they knew how difficult my life was going to become. I stood; shocked for a few moments and then much to my surprise i lunged towards Haymitch and pulled him into a tight hug. He quickly returned the hug and once i was safe in his embrace i let out all my pent up tears. Haymitch smoothed my hair and let me sob in his arms for a few moments after which he leaned down.

"It's time to get going Sweetheart." he whispered and then gave me one last reassuring squeeze before pulling back.

I untangled myself from his arms and tried to calm my emotions. I stretched my lips into a watery smile and gave Effie, who thankfully mistook my tears as those of joy, a slight nod before turning to Cinna who wordlessly wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me towards the elevators.

Once we were safe behind the elevator doors though I felt tears build up again. Cinna seemed to sense it because he pulled me further into his arms. I released a few choked sobs and buried my face in Cinna's chest until the elevator dinged open at the 12th floor. When I looked at my reflection in the glass of the elevator doors my eyes were unsurprisingly puffy and my cheeks were splotchy red. I was about to apologize to Cinna for making his job harder that it should have been but before I could he gently shook his head silently telling me that an apology wasn't necessary.

I was swamped by Venia, Octavia and Flavius. They started talking non-stop but their words just merged together. I could gather that they were ecstatic to see me but even though I too was glad to see them I wasn't able to express the sentiment.

"Oh dear, Katniss look at your face! Have you been crying?" Octavia exclaimed.

"I'm just so overwhelmed to be here." I managed to say with a slight smile. The three of my stylists nodded as if they understood how I was feeling and then herded me into the dining room where there was a feast of roast beef and peas waiting for me.

Even though my last meal had been ages ago I ended up just picking at my peas and pushing my food around my plate. The fact that I was wasting food appalled me but I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep anything down so i just picking at my peas until Cinna noticed i wasn't eating. He quickly excised us from the table and led me to my room.

"I'm going to call Venia, Octavia and Flavius to get you ready, alright?" Cinna said gently and was about to leave but I panicked and stopped him.

"I don't know if I can handle then Cinna." I said in a choked voice.

"It's alright Katniss. How about I do your make up for today? Cinna said in an understanding voice. I gave him a grateful nod and he silently got to work. Cinna worked at an amazing speed to compensate for the lack of help. Despite the shortage of time he dismissed the prep team when they came to inquire whether they were needed. I hardly paid attention to what Cinna was doing until he had left the room to get my dress for the evening. I was surprised to see how young and girlish Cinna had managed to make me look. Another thing that shocked me was that the makeup managed to reflect how I was truly feeling inside while at the same time expressed how I was supposed to feel. I was so mesmerized by how artistically Cinna had done my make up that I didn't realize that he had come back into the room but when I saw his reflection appear besides mine in the mirror I couldn't contain my gasp when I saw the dress in his hands.

"Oh Cinna, it's beautiful." I exclaimed as Cinna helped me slip into the golden dress. The fabric gently shimmered as I smoothed the dress out reminding me of a candle flame. I was still the girl on fire but much more mellowed down. I decided at once that this was my favorite dress by far but then I felt an extra padding over my breasts. My hands immediately flew to my chest and I frowned deeply.

"I'm sorry about that." Cinna apologized when he saw my expression. "The President wanted to surgically alter you but Haymitch was able to talk him out of having that done. We had to settle for the padding though." I wasn't able to formulate an appropriate response but I felt a warm feeling spread inside me as I was extremely touched that Haymitch and Cinna stood up for me. But then I was again hit by the full intensity of what I was about to do and the warm feeling was expelled from my body and replaced by cold dread.

"I don't know if I can do it, Cinna." I murmured "I don't know if I can do what the President wants me to do and pretend to be in love with that monster."

"You can my Girl on Fire. I believe that you can." Cinna said with a reassuring smile. "Just remember, it's all a show, it's just for the cameras. None of this is real." Cinna reassured in a low voice and then helped me into a pair of simple golden heeled shoes, probably to help balance out my height with Cato's. He then took one final look at me and made a few last adjustments. Once Cinna was satisfied we went to the elevator which took us down to the training level. Every year the victor and the victors support team would rise up from beneath the stage starting with the prep team followed by the victors escort, stylist, mentor and finally the victor. But this year since there were two victors they had developed a new system and I ended up in a damp and dark area under the stage. I was so distracted that I didn't realize that I wasn't alone until I heard a gruff voice call out my name. I jumped for a moment and was about to attack the other person in the room until I saw that it was only Haymitch.

"Whoa, take it easy sweetheart." Haymitch said, only half-jokingly.

"Sorry, my nerves are still a bit jumpy I guess." I apologized and Haymitch smiled knowingly and the suddenly, much to my surprise Haymitch's smile widened.

"How about a hug" he asked me and then spread out his hands. I must admit I was slightly surprised because I had never considered Haymitch as a hugging person but then it crossed my mind that a good luck hug might be customary so I stepped into his embrace. The moment he wrapped his arms around me though he started talking into my ear very quickly and softly.

"Listen up Sweetheart because what I'm going to tell you is very important. I know that the President already told you about his plans of fabricating a romance between you and Cato but what he forgot to tell you, probably to put you off your guard on stage, was that after you make your 'romance' with Cato public he is planning to ship you off to district two and bring your mother and sister to the capitol to keep them under his thumb and keep you in his control." Haymitch quickly murmured and then paused, probably to take a breath but more likely because he wanted to give me a moment to process the information I had just received. I was shocked but only slightly because after all we were talking about a President who entertained his citizens by making children fight to their deaths. I was most definitely worried about Prim and my mom but I knew that if I managed to convince everyone that I was in love with Cato then they would be safe. Haymitch squeezed my shoulder lightly pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Cameras." He murmured I realized that he was indicating that we were most likely being watched and our elongated hug was starting to look suspicious so I took a deep breath and managed to let out a light laugh.

"So what do we do now?" I asked him in the most cheerful voice I could manage.

"Now?" Haymitch said, while pulling away. "Now all you need to do is show everyone how much you love that Evans boy and as much as I don't approve of him I'm not going to stop you. Just don't look at me when your mom finds out." He said cheerfully with a wink. I was puzzled for a beat at his change of tone and then realized that he was acting it out and trying to appear as natural as possible for the sake of the cameras so I let out a good natured laugh to support his statement and was about to reply when suddenly the sound of the roaring crowds which penetrated the walls increased tremendously.

"It's time to go, Sweetheart. After the recap gets over meet me on the roof. We need to discuss how you are going to proceed with this 'relationship' of yours." Haymitch whispered and then led me to a metal plate which would lift me up onto the stage. "Good luck." he said while giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze and then walked away, probably to his own plate leaving me alone in the musty room. The longer I spent alone in the room the more I felt claustrophobia set in and just mere moments before it overwhelmed me the plate started moving upwards and a panel slid open above my head letting the full extent of the crowds roar seep in.

As the plate lifted me onto the stage I was hit by the crowds roar and blinding took a while for my eyes to adjust to the brightness and when they did I saw standing a few feet away. At first I stiffened but then remembered that the president and entire country was watching so instead I painted a huge smile on my face and ran towards Cato and threw myself into his arms. He seemed surprised for only a millisecond before reciprocating the hug. I hoped that a hug would be enough but I remembered that Haymitch said that I had to show the audience 'how much I love that Evans boy' and if I wanted to convince them that I loved him I would have to do more. With that thought in mind I buried all my reservations deep inside me and with a silent apology to Peeta I planted a kiss on Cato's lips. I immediately felt revolted by my actions and wanted, very badly, to flinch back but I knew that if I did then I would jeopardize the safety of almost everyone I cared about. Cato seemed to mirror my sentiments because even though he returned the kiss he seemed to do so very reluctantly. We managed to stay in the kiss for a few long moments while the crowd roared wildly in the background. When we did break apart I had a strong urge to run to the nearest shower and scrub Cato's essence of me but instead I forced myself to stay planted in the stage and painted an ecstatic smile on my face, projecting to everyone watching us that I was the happiest girl in the world while trying to hide the truth that from inside I felt as though was slowly breaking and dying.

**A/N I am really sorry for taking so long to update. The thing is I have a chronic wrist injury which decided to flare up again a few days after I posted the last chapter and when I spoke to my physiotherapist she told me that I should put minimum strain on my wrist which meant that I could type only a little at a time so it took me forever to get this chapter done. I also managed to burn two of my fingers over Christmas so I wasn't able to type for two days then. Anyway I hope this chapter was worth the wait and I am going to apologize from now because it is going to take me a while to post the next update since I am still not able to type much at a stretch. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I would like to thank Bubble Fish, NeonHedgehog, HeyoMyFellowReaders101, CandyFreak211, fairytalc, Flordiagirl13, babyblazeful, rayleen14, .5, for following this story/adding this story to your favourites.**

**Replies to Reviews**

**HeyoMyFellowReaders101 - Thank you so much. Sorry this update wasn't sooner.**

**fairytalec – Thank you so much for the review and don't worry, when I start a story I won't give up on it**

**rayleen14 –I'm so sorry I made you wait for so long for this update**

**Flordiagirl13- Thanks and I am so sorry it took me ages to get this chapter up.**

The roar behind us died and Cesar Flickerman, with an extremely shocked expression on his face, led us towards a plush, red sofa which I could only term as a 'love seat'. It was a fairly large seat yes, but it was designed in such a way that no matter how we were seated Cato and I would be touching in one way or another. Steeling myself I allowed Cato to slip his hand around my waist and lead me to the couch. We both settled on the couch and sat stiffly next to one another but when I caught Haymitch's eyes I noticed that he was silently telling me that I needed to do more. So I slipped out of my heels and curled up so my head was resting on Cato's shoulder and my legs were tucked beside me. Cato's arm snaked around me and when he looked down at me he had the most loving look plastered on his face. He was so convincing that the previously calmed crowd started to cheer again.

"I love you." He muttered loud enough for everyone to hear setting the crowd wild again. Cato was so convincing that he would have had me fooled as well if it hadn't been for the sharp hint in his voice and the cold look in his eyes which I was able to pick up.

"I love you too." I played along while keeping my big smile on my face. My eyes connected with Cato's and we spent a moment looking into each other's eyes. To any onlooker it looked like we were having a romantic exchange but in reality we were silently projecting how much we hated each other. Our 'romantic' moment was interrupted by Cesar who, with difficulty, managed to calm the crowd and announced that the recap was about to begin. All the voices seemed to die down as the lights dimmed. I wanted so much to push away from Cato but I didn't move partly because I knew a camera would be glued on us to gauge our reaction but also partly because I didn't know whether I would be able to face the recap without some form of human support, even if it wasn't real. Cato must have understood this, or even felt the same way, because his hand tightened around my shoulder. Needless to say I was surprised when he did that but I didn't have much time to think about it because the huge screen in front of us blinked to life and the room was filled with the sounds of a countdown.

I had expected that reliving the games would to be hard but in reality it was much worse. Seeing the death of each tribute in full detail again was almost like forcefully reopening old wounds making me feel ill. In fact by the time we reached Rue's death I felt a headache building up behind my eyes and I had to curl my hands into tight fists to keep myself from crying out when the scene of the spear flying into Rue's torso flashed on the screen. After that the camera focused on Cato and his progress giving me time to recover. But all my efforts of reaching a stable composure crumbled the moment the screen flashed back to me, and to the scene of me finding Peeta nothing less. I couldn't stop a soft cry from escaping out of my lips and I started to feel dizzy and breathless. As I had expected, the recap only skimmed over the time I had spent with Peeta and instead sped towards his death. When I saw my screen-self leaving the cave for the last time I instinctively buried my head into Cato's chest, deciding to feel disgusted by it later, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle Peetas death all over again.

I waited, unmoving, until I could hear the sound of the hovercraft on the screen fade. Then I slowly, cautiously emerged from where I was burrowed in Cato's chest and saw my screen-self collapse to the ground and start to turn into a vegetable. I then saw my sudden transformation into the killer I had become. My eyes, against my will, stayed glued to the screen in horrified fascination as I watched myself murder Foxface without even giving her a second glance and not even appearing remorseful after. That was probably the first time since the arena that it dawned on me that I had killed someone in cold blood. The thought of that started to make me feel nauseous but then the fight between Cato and Thresh came on the screen. Even though I knew I shouldn't, as I watched Cato torture and murder Thresh I started to feel a little better because even though I had killed someone without regard it was a clean kill and an almost painless and instant death when compared to Cato killing Thresh which appeared to be very painful and very messy.

The rest of the recap was rushed until they reached the final few minutes when Cato and I were standing face to face on the roof of the cornucopia. I don't know how but the editors of the recap had somehow managed to make my hesitation to shoot Cato appear to be an act of sentiment. They then, unsurprisingly, breezed over my attempted suicide and quickly ended the recap with my unconcious self being lifted into the hovercraft.

I stood up unsteadily and turnrd to the crowd. I quickly found Haymitch who gave me a discreet nod indicating that I had managed to act convincingly enough. I then scanned the audience for Cinna who gave me a very discreet thumbs-up. Gaining some confidence from these gestures I gave the crowd a huge smile. Cato came beside me and did the same while waving at the same time. It was awkward to see the happy and smiley side of Cato, an act or not, because whenever I pictured him, which was very rarely, I always saw a bloodthirsty killer. Seeing Cato now waving to the crowd was plain wrong. I shuddered slightly before remembering where I was and resumed my smiling and girlish persona.

After a few, long moments of waving to the crowds we were herded off for the crowning ceremony. Cato and I stood side by side while the President came towards us followed by a small boy who was carrying a crown on a satiny pillow. Once he approached us he lifted the crown and gave it a slight twist resulting in it separating into two halves. He went to Cato first and placed one half of the crown on his head followed by a handshake and congratulations. After that he came towards me and with a sinister smile dancing on his lips he gently placed the second half of the crown on my head

"My most sincere congratulations for winning the 74th annual hunger games, Miss Everdeen" he said sounding sincere to everyone except me. I forced a smile on my face, even though I felt like running and hiding, and made myself look happier than ever.

"Thank you for letting us both live." I said on an impulse. While grabbing Catos arm and praying that I had done the right thing. The President simply smiled but I could tell from his eyes that my performance was adequate.

After a little more waving and blowing kisses to the crowd we were herded off to the Victors Banquet. I knew it wasn't a good idea, but the first thing i did once we entered the mansion was pluck a glass of some sort of alcohol. It warranted a hard looks from both Haymitch and Cinna but thankfully neither of them said or did anything to stop me while Cato simply lifted an amused eyebrow while he stood quietly by my side. I quickly drained the glass in my hand and went to reach for another but was stopped by Cato who firmly gripped my hand before it could reach the waiting glass.

"Let me go." I growled softly.

"Don't want you getting drunk or throwing up, Fire Girl. Even here drunk puking is not considered attractive." He said in an amused voice. I scowled and was about to deliver a snide retort when I noticed that the crowd and cameras were increasing around us. I quickly glanced at Cato, who shot me a quick nod before a subtle but significant change took over his face. His eyes held a look of softness instead of the usual harshness which they carried and his deep, permanent scowl was replaced by a huge, carefree smile. It was almost as though I was looking at a different person all together. Shuddering slightly at the major change which took over Cato I too closed my eyes and forced 'Katniss who hates the President and the Capitol' to slip into the background making way for 'Katniss who is in love with Cato and forever indebted to the President' to slip into its place. With that I was drug into a whirlwind of smiling, hand shaking, exchanging pleasantries and expressing my _love_ for the President and Capitol and my _beloved_ Cato.

The whole thing lasted for at least four hours and it was almost two am when i hauled myself back to the twelfth floor. I knew that I was expected, by Haymitch, on the roof but the urge to run straight to the shower was overwhelming. I walked towards my room, stalling slightly at Peetas former room but resisting the urge to go in. 'Later' I promised myself and forced myself to continue on to my room.

I shed my clothes and placed my dress carefully on my bed. As much as I loved it, I doubted I would be able to use the dress again because it symbolized, to me at least, the loss of Peeta. Jumping into the shower, I set the jets to one of the harsher cycles so that I could scrub away every single trace of make up along with Cato essence of my body. I few minutes into the shower I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes. I didn't even bother to control myself as sobs racked my body. Leaning against the showers wall I let everything- the pain from losing Peeta, my frustration at the Capitol, my hate towards the President for forcing me into a relationship I wanted nothing to do with and the fear for the safety of my loved ones-flow out of my body with each hot tear and each strangled sob. 15 minutes later I emerged from the shower feeling raw from crying but much more lighter and relaxed at the same time. I dressed myself in a simple pullover and a soft pair of pants. Ignoring the wet patch my hair, which I didn't bother to dry, made on the pullover I made my way to the roof.

As I exited the elevator onto the roof I could see three forms standing, silhouetted against the backdrop of the Capitol lights. Two of them I recognized as Haymitch and, to my dismay, Cato. The third was a bulky man, who I guessed must be Cato's mentor.

"Ahem" I cleared my throat as I walked towards them.

"Ah Katniss, come over here." Haymitch said while an overly large smile was pasted on his face. His hard attempt not to be his usually, annoying self pissed me off more than it would have if he wasn't putting up a show. I knew he was just being considerate but I also figured it was his way of showing sympathy, something I really hated and didn't want.

"So what do we do now?" I asked, not wanting to go through the pains of small talk. Haymitch's face turned grim and with a sigh he began.

"Well Brutus and I," He said while gesturing towards the other man "have come up with a basic story-line for your 'romance'. It's the normal 'met during training and fell in love' nonsense. I know it is pretty clichéd but knowing how superficial the Capitol is, they will just eat it up." I nodded in agreement but then a thought struck me.

"What about the whole thing with Peeta?" I asked, my voice catching as I said his name.

"Got you covered there too, Sweetheart.' Haymitch replied. "Just go with the bread story and say that you felt indebted to him." My bewilderment at Haymitch's knowledge of the bread incident must have shown on my face because he added "Peeta told me about it while we were strategizing. He told me it was when he… you know…" Haymitch trailed off. It took me a moment to get what Haymitch was trying to say and I immediately choked up. Not trusting my voice I simply nodded. Glancing up I noticed that Haymitch had a look in his eyes which said that he had something he needed to tell me. Raising my eyebrows I prompted him to say what he needed to. His eyes quickly flickered towards the other two people standing with us, the motion saying _"not now, in private." _I sent him an unrelenting glare in protest. Our silent conversation might have gone on for a while, but was interrupted by an amused appearing Cato, who very loudly cleared his throat. With a sigh I sharply nodded at Haymitch telling him that would comply, but not happily, and sent a piercing glare to Cato before closing my eyes and preparing myself for the possibly painful conversation which was going to follow.

**A/N I am SO sorry it took me ages to get this chapter up. I had started writing it but had to leave it halfway because my 10****th**** board exams came up. Plus my **_**brilliant **_**school decided that they are going to make us give our A Levels(12****th**** ) in 15 months instead of the normal two years. So I was left studying for my 10****th**** boards, 12****th**** boards **_**and**_** SATs all at the same time. Not fun. Either ways I finally got this chapter done and I can only hope it was worth the long, long wait. I'm not making any promises for a quick update of chapter 4, but hopefully, now that I have caught a little break, it will be up soon. **


End file.
